A Sort of Homecoming: Three Weeks Into the JVC Saint Louis Year

"They say you can’t see the forest when you’re there among the trees. They say it takes a separation to find some kind of clarity."
Griffen House- "Liberty Line"

I’ve sat down and began to write this post about a half dozen times over the past couple weeks, but until now I have not been able to finish. I was sitting back, waiting for some clarity and some definitive knowledge before I wrote this post to have something meaningful to write about. Now, Three weeks into the JVC year and one week into my new job, I find myself still waiting for some, if not a lot of clarity for the year ahead.

In my opinion, this lack of clarity is equal parts frustrating and good for me. The terror that I felt and mentioned when thinking about (and writing about) my upcoming JVC year a month and a half ago still exists in some sense, but it has morphed. I no longer consider myself to have a fear of this unknown, unfamiliar thing that is JVC. But, instead I now have begun to view this time as an opportunity to see what is out there, explore new things, and to learn valuable lessons about myself and the world around me. This is a relatively big step and shift for me coming from a very recent time in my life in Washington, DC. I was essentially approaching my life very methodically and excessively planning and micromanaging most of my time to attempt to maximize my potential output. (I feel like I am back in economics class writing that last sentence) In other words, for much of this past summer I felt as if I were going through the motions of life without really living it. It is sad but true. Be it at work, commuting, planning nights out, or hanging out with friends, I feel like during that time my approach to life was focused largely towards efficiency and total rationality. I was holding on too tightly to myself and being too serious, and that led to an unhealthy and not the most fun or happy time for me. Granted, I do not want to loosen my grip and stop planning and managing too much either because that would lead to disorganization, a lack of being on top of things, and less rational thinking- the other, equally unhealthy side of the spectrum. So, this year I need to work on finding that balance that culminates with being on top of things and loose enough to be able to roll with things as they come up and deal with an unknown. This JVC year is designed to strengthen my life through four values, one of these being spirituality. I understand spirituality to be a deeper understanding of one’s self, and right now, I think that relinquishing a little control will help me to deepen my spirituality.

Living in Saint Louis will definitely help in this regard. The way of life and culture here are far different from that of Washington DC. DC is hands on, fast-paced with everyone moving from one thing to another so quickly. The lifestyle and culture is real, heavy, and dominated by efficiency, output, politics, and both how to achieve and preserve power. Don’t get me wrong I love DC. I love that culture, lifestyle,city, and all that it stands for. I love it to the point that I let it mold my personality and thought process so that I thought that it set the example as the way to live life. But yet, I think this year of living in a much more laid-back, wholesome environment will expose me to more than one way of life. Hopefully I can take the best parts of both Washington, DC and Saint Louis and mold them together to establish a way of life that best suits me.

It is strange and funny to have a sort of homecoming and be living back in the Midwest in Saint Louis. The strangest part of moving from DC to Saint Louis has been seeing the disintegration of the degrees of separation from me to my roots and area where I grew up. In DC my only connection to home (albeit the strongest type possible) was having family there. I had grown used to essentially being considered “foreign” for growing up in a small town in the Midwest. I could have been anyone from anywhere and felt I could use the card of being different to my advantage. I liked having that opportunity and ability alot. But here I feel almost local in growing up 100 miles away, and having family and friends both close by and in the same city. My first day at work I was talking to one of my coworkers affiliated with a college here in Saint Louis who knows someone I went to high school with. It seems like every day I have had a connection like that and everyone knows where Effingham is. This adjustment process is something that I’m sure I will notice in some way or another throughout the year. Sometimes I feel a little torn between being very happy living where I live and with my placement, and longing for DC again.

I like Saint Louis though. I feel a little bad that for most of my life I ignorantly viewed Saint Louis as a second-tier city as I would (unfairly) compare it to Chicago and Washington, DC. It may not have the big-city feel and cityscapes of Chicago or the international and cultural opportunities on the same level of DC, but there is a lot to do here. I plan to take as much advantage as I can of the free museums, zoo, Forest Park, festivals, etc, and two weeks into living in this city I must happily admit my former views were wrong. I believe this city can be conducive to living on an on an extremely modest and meager budget and stipend.

The simple living value of JVC has already begun to influence the way I think about spending money and the way that I live-- I can already feel myself becoming more resourceful. Our first weekend in Saint Louis, a few of us made a trip to Wal-Mart to buy things for our rooms and the house; I was looking for a lamp specifically. I saw a lamp that would have served the purpose nicely, but before buying it, I revaluated and thought: “Do I really want to spend the $8 dollars for a lamp/ do I need this right away? I don’t really need one and can wait and find one for cheaper at Goodwill or Catholic Charities. And it will support those organizations to keep them going so that I can shop there more when I really need something.” So I did not get the lamp and will wait until I find the right one from one of those other stores. This year has already begun to teach me about the necessity of goods versus the desire, and to think about things such as privilege, as well as greater community impact.

The community support that I have witnessed in my brief time here has been extraordinary- and this causes me to think that living simply this year will not be a terribly difficult challenge. I could not have asked for a better collection of individuals to be my housemates—we have such a diverse range of characteristics and each bring strengths to our living environment to make it possible for any single person to support anyone else whenever needed. This support stretches beyond my JVC housemates to a very warm and open community of former Jesuit Volunteers who live in Saint Louis. The first night we arrived in Saint Louis, a former Jesuit Volunteer (FJV) came to our house to cook us dinner and talk to us about JVC. That same night we were joined by a handful of other FJVs who were there to give us advice, help, and just talk to us as we began our journey. That whole first weekend we were shown around town by F JVs: the different neighborhoods, where to go for farmers markets, grocery stores, other thrift stores, churches, etc, take us on a picnic, etc. Even this past weekend we had a couple of other FJVs drop by and hang out for awhile giving us more info and advice.

With this support group in place it will make it easy to live simply and figure out all that Saint Louis has to offer. I feel like I have learned a little and there is so much more to learn to make this year the best it can possibly be. I’m looking forward to continue making trips to the Soulard Farmers Market (much cheaper and better food than a super market- AND doing business with the local community), showing up at more Cardinals games (and never cheering for them) after the third inning for discounted tickets, attending more free plays at the MUNY next year, more twenty mile bike rides through town, and everything else that I can do during this time here. But, there is one thing that I am looking forward to even more than the things I just mentioned and that is to volunteer and do service projects attached to the many service organizations in this city. I’m looking forward to volunteering with St. Theresa and Bridgette’s Parish Solomon Project building houses, and in whatever capacity I can with the schools that my housemates are volunteering for, and to connecting to other volunteers in this city. The FJVs that I have met have been wholesome, happy, generous, and genuine people. I think that this may stem from their desire to give back, volunteer, and be a part of something bigger than themselves. I want to achieve that too and there is no better time in my life to take part in all of these opportunities than this year to work with people for a greater cause. That is what this year with JVC is supposed to be all about and I am fully committed to living this way to obtain hopefully shine some clarity on my life.

JVC Saint Louis- The Express Edition

After writing a blog post featuring clarity as a major theme, I realized I should probably provide you with a basic overview of my JVC Saint Louis world.

I live in a house with seven other people (2 guys 6 girls) referred to in JVC lore as the “Mansion of the Midwest” or the “Wise Mansion”. It is a huge house near Barnes Jewish Hospital, and Forest Park is practically my back yard. Our house has 20+ rooms in it which means that everyone has their own bedroom (the first time I have ever had that when living in the United States other than at home), I believe four bathrooms, 2 floors, a basement, a dining room, kitchenette/breakfast nook, 2 living rooms, a craft room, a mancave (the two guys created this to use as a potentially needed refuge for living with six girls), a chapel (this is a Jesuit house after all), and a backyard (with a garden that was essentially killed but we are committed to reviving). We also have one true community car. The house was fully furnished when we got there and has been a JVC house for a number of years, which means that it has accumulated a lot of things that we would ever need or want and we are still and finding new things that we have at our house.

Sounds great so far doesn’t it? Ok here is the challenge. By being a Jesuit Volunteer for a year that means we are committed to living the four Jesuit values of spirituality, community, simple living, and social justice.

Spirituality basically means we are going to attempt to have a spirituality night once a week (which can be religious based or personal enrichment or whatever). The goal is for everyone to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and to figure out what really drives each individual person.

I’m going to address community living and simple living together. In addition to a spirituality night we have a community night once a week that serves as a time to grow and build the community together. A myriad of activities can be done for this. In addition to community night we also are committed to essentially living life equally, thus meaning that we do things like share all of our food in our house. This brings me to simple living. By being a Jesuit Volunteer, we committed to only accepting a personal stipend of $100 dollars a month. This money is used as our personal money for whatever we want. This does not include food. As a household, we have a combined budget of $720 dollars a month for food for 8 people. So this sounds difficult at this point now doesn’t it? We have a little bit of help. We don’t have rent to pay and JVC estimates and provides us with money to pay utilities, gas for the community car, car payments, and even some money to fix up the house. In addition to this all of our different agencies where we work are supposed to provide us with the fare for our commute to and from work.

That brings me to Social Justice: Everyone has different organizations they work for. I am working for the YMCA in Cahokia, Illinois. When I started I was going to be working on an after school program at Cahokia High School, that includes time for the students to get their homework done, and have access to a tutor if they need it, a session everyday on enrichment (when I saw it the other day students in teams had to design a new advertising logo for a designated business), and a session on recreation. I still we be involved in the program in some capacity, but my work is in the process of changing. Last week I designed the curriculum for two recreational programs in which grade school students come to the YMCA to participate in physical education sessions (basically like designing PE units for an entire year.) I am going to be doing more work such as this and helping to design other recreational programs as well as enrichment programs, and will be involved in other numerous outreach programs that our YMCA is involved with from Christian outreach (the “C” in YMCA) to mentoring programs for school kids. I must say that under first impression I am really impressed with our YMCA and how involved it is in the community. It runs after school programs, programs for elderly people, families, and much more and goes way beyond my previous perceptions of YMCAs as basically “swim and gyms”. My coworkers are amazing, genuine, and really seem like they care, and I am sure I will write more about them and this YMCA throughout the year.

So, who is up to this challenge with me? Seven other people live in my house with me and I have no doubt that they will equally challenge and support each other throughout the year.

Ariana is from Tempe, Arizona, went to Arizona State University, and is mainly working on a program that uses urban farming as a rehabilitation mechanism. She brings to the house a passion for activism, namely social justice and accountability and the environment that rivals, if not surpasses anybody that I met at American University (the most politically active campus in the country 3 of the last 4 years).

Chino is from Vancouver, British Columbia and went to Gonzaga University. He is a PE teacher at a catholic grade school. As the other guy and half of “Team Ryno” (take half of both of our names and put them together) he enables us both to be guys, talk about sports, have man-dates, and is just a lot of fun to hang out with. He also is a phenomenal cook.

Dayna is from Wheaton, Illinois and went to Wheaton College. She is spending this year working with adults with developmental disabilities. She is probably the funniest person in the house and is great at telling stories. She also will be the driving force behind our highly anticipated “Wire Nights” as well as our Infinite Jest book club.

Gabby is from San Diego, California and went to Santa Clara University. She is working on St. Louis University church’s homeless and unemployed outreach program. She is probably the most extroverted person in our house who always seems happy and is always smiling, and she projects that personality onto everyone in the house.

Jamie is a St. Louis native who went to Spring Hill College in Mobile, Alabama. She is helping to run two different parish initiatives that include a bakery to provide an outlet for youth in the neighborhood, and a Habitat for Humanity type program that I look forward to volunteering with. It is great having her around because she knows the city and can recommend different things to do and places to go, and also will be good to help keep things organized and on track with our house.

Mary is from Kansas and went to Kansas University. She is spending her year as a teacher at a Catholic all-girls middle school. She brings a thoughtful, reflective personality to our house that seems like it airs towards scholarly. I look forward to having some lively discussions with her this year and will most likely learn lots from her.

Last but not least is Millie. She is from Spokane, Washington and went to Gonzaga, University. She is the only other person working on the Illinois side of the river and is teaching at an alternative high school in East St. Louis. She has a wholesome personality who really cares about social justice work and shares a passion for getting involved with causes and volunteer work and is very dedicated.

In addition to my housemates we also have two dedicated former Jesuit Volunteers who are our support people to function as sort of our other JVC family. They will be there throughout the year to give us support and encouragement, provide advice and encouragement, as well as keep us abreast of and show us cool things to do in the city. We also will be in contact with a designated Jesuit to keep us in the loop of spiritual activities and what’s going on with that element in the city. The city also offers whole networks of other volunteer groups that I look forward to connecting with, as well as a rich group of former Jesuit Volunteers that drop by.

All in all, I think it will be a challenging year but easily manageable. Thank you for coming along for the ride.