Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

“Listen to me now, I need to let you know, you don’t have to go it alone.”

U2- Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own

I would like to dedicate this post, this blog and the rest of my year of JVC service to my late Grandma, Ethel Brumleve, who died two weeks ago today. I loved talking to her on the phone and telling her about what I was doing this year in Saint Louis. I could tell by her voice when we talked how interested she was in my program, what I was doing, and how I was living my life this year. I know in my heart that she was proud of what I am doing, and I will not disappoint her with the rest of my year. She always made me feel so good about myself and I will miss her terribly. She was my commute buddy of sorts; I always would use the time when I was walking to and from bus and train stops to talk to her. She was the best person to talk to during that time, a constant positive, and she became a sort of portal that always made me happy as I transitioned from one aspect and community of my day to another. It really hit me yesterday when I was running late for a bus and had twenty minutes to kill before the next one that I could no longer talk to her. She truly was the most remarkable of women and touched many people’s lives in a number of different ways. The positive impact that she had on her community was most apparent by the large number of people who attended her visitation and funeral, and it was very moving to me to feel the generosity and kindness of everyone in attendance as they offered their sympathies, paid their respects, and told stories about the loving, caring, warm human being that my grandma was. This event got me thinking about and inspired me to write a blogpost about another one of the four Jesuit Volunteer Corps values: community.

The fact of the matter is that working towards social justice issues, living life on a modest stipend, and (for many) relocating to a different part of the country far away from family and friends can be quite challenging. Having multiple support networks in different places eases the challenges of the year significantly. I am not sure if these types of networks are more prevalent for me during this year of volunteer service, or if I had not noticed them as much before, but I certainly do now. I notice communities in some regard or another and both big and small everywhere. And, I have started to feel like I have some sort of place in each one.

I obviously feel a sense of community and amazing support from my family—which I do not feel I need to get write about here as well as my housemates and JVC-created and structured community—more on that later in this post. I want to start out with a much simpler community, one that has often been unseen by me. Everyday I am one the many people of Saint Louis who takes public transportation to work. I take the metrolink train from the Central West End across the river to the 5^th and Missouri station in East Saint Louis, and then the #2 Cahokia Bus to my Cahokia Area YMCA. I always took the busses and metro to work in Washington, DC, but it was a completely different atmosphere there. In DC people do not generally talk on the busses and trains. Most people read or listen to music, and you have very little interaction among riders besides the occasional cordial act of giving up a seat to an elderly person, pregnant woman, mother with children, or when giving out directions or answering questions from tourist unfamiliar with the area. This is not real interaction and there is certainly no community feel to it. Many times in DC I would take the bus to work with people that I knew even and there was not much conversing. (Albeit this was always at least partially my fault as sometimes I was more interested in reading Express or listening to NPR podcasts)

The Saint Louis commute is much different. While my trip on the metro everyday is comparable to DC as people are less likely to talk, the bus commute is strikingly different. I usually have the same bus driver and ride with the same people every day. These people all talk amongst themselves on their commutes and to the bus driver. They talk about their kids, kid’s schools and the education system, problems with their spouses, significant others, or in some cases multiple significant others, or have “baby-mama-drama”, etc. And this is not polite small-talk, but these are the type of conversations that are open and honest. They put themselves out there in the same way that old buddies who have known each other for years would talk. I get the feeling that many of these people make the same trip with each other every day year after year, and function as commute buddies. While I may not feel right contributing to these conversations or speaking at this time-- it does not seem like my place yet, I do get the feeling that my presence is acknowledged and accepted on the bus. I am ok being an extra in the background at this point. These commutes make me think back to one of my favorite classes that I took in college- Third World Cities last year with Professor Bratman. The class was development focused but made you think about the challenges of urban planning and examining how each aspect of a city affects other parts and what message is being sent to the different people. I remember talking about the existence of suburbs and expressways and how they function as a way to cut people off from the urban life. They could separate their lives outside of work from their home lives and pass through one environment to the other in their own privacy and at their own convenience. I must say I enjoy taking public transportation. I feel like I am constantly learning on the train and bus; like I am part of the living, breathing essence of Saint Louis and the surrounding Illinois suburbs by listening to the problems, issues, and successes of the everyman and woman Saint Louis area resident. If I had access to a car everyday for work I still do not think I would use it the majority of the time. (Even if it would cut in half my commute time to work)

Speaking of work, I have a very strong community and support network at the Cahokia Area YMCA. This all starts with my boss Fred, the executive director of the Cahokia Area YMCA. When I first met Fred, we instantly clicked. He took me out to lunch on my first day and we both discovered our mutual interest of politics and current events, and found ourselves talking about politics (on a national and city level), DC, and even Uganda and Haiti (it is very impressive to me that he has been to both for the political line of work that he used to do). He is a compassionate guy who really gets the YMCA mission of “building strong kids, strong families, and strong communities by putting Christian principles into practice through programs that build health spirits, minds, and bodies for all.” He invests so much effort into the community he works trying to build it up and strengthen it. This passion shines its brightest through his work towards attempting to get teenage boys in the area to think more seriously about college as a real option, and getting their lives and selves organized enough to take all of the steps to follow through and make it to college. I really admire this dedication. He has even gone so far as to take time out of work to take a local boy to the college to guide him through the registration and class sign up process. He also always is checking up on me as well. One day I left work right around the time that a torrential downpour started and he called me to ask if I was out in the rain or had gotten on the bus yet. When I told him on that Thursday that I would not be in last Monday for my grandma’s funeral, he told me that he did not want to see me as well nor later Thursday afternoon. He told me to take that time off to get my head right. He texted me on the Monday of my Grandma’s funeral asking if I was ok and saying he was thinking about me.

I have been and will continue to learn a lot from Fred. He has tuned me into to politics on a city level (something I admittedly no next to nothing about and had never really paid attention to before). But what I think I could learn most from him is how to be a community figure, to actively be involved in a society, to know the people, their issues, and make sure to do what I can to improve and transform their lives. (more on all of this in a future blogpost)

My other colleagues are very receptive as well and make me feel like I am part of a tight knit family. They took me out to see a jazz show (see previous post), and are always telling me about opportunities to go do things with them that are local and community oriented: high school football games, air shows, etc. We had a staff appreciation cookout last Saturday that I attended, and it was nice to relax with my colleagues, meet their families and bond with them. I will most definitely write more about my colleagues and work throughout the year. Stay tuned for that.

I do not want to focus on my community of housemates during this blog because they will be mentioned throughout the year in many blogposts, but I do want to write about our extended community that includes our JVC support people Katie and Michael. These are great people who are there to offer their support to us on many levels. They have been planning and running our weekly community nights thus far, and look for other fun activities for us to do and so much more (more on this in an upcoming blogpost as well.) We have one-on-one check-ins with Katie and Michael throughout the year as well. During my check-in with Michael, I was telling him about some of my recreational programs I am creating for my YMCA, and he offered to let me use his two children as guinea pigs for my project. I will be taking him up on this offer in the future.

So what is the take-away from all of this? Right now I feel very fortunate to have these different communities that I am becoming a part of that are warm and receptive in me. They have opened their doors to include me, introduced me to their families, and really believe in me, what I am doing, and are looking to improve me to be the best person that I can be. In an environment like this it is easy for me to believe in myself, and do what is right to the best of my ability, and to live up to my own and everyone’s expectations and attempt to surpass them. This echoes something that my grandma used to always tell me when we talked, something that I have tried my best to do and will continue to listen to: “just make sure to be a good boy Ryan”.

In this blogpost I touched on a lot of themes and issues that I will expand upon in forthcoming blogs including more detail on what I do at work, the people I work with, and more about living in community with my housemates. Up Next: One focusing on simple living? Social justice? Who knows?.....I do. Stay tuned to find out.

Also if you want to see a picture of our JVC Midwest crew check out the front page of the JVC website. (I am cut out of the picture but a few of my housemates are in as well as many of the JVs in the Midwest. Click here, or click on the JVC link at the very top of the page.